October 23rd, 2010

"A Truly Bloody Experience"
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Top 10 Vampire
October 23rd, 2010

"A Truly Bloody Experience"
"Bad Things"
Jace Everett
From the True Blood
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Merla Karnik - Aquatic Vampires and More!
By Paul Dale Roberts, HPI Vampire Hunter

Hey, that’s Spider-Man’s favorite newspaper that HPI Parapsychologist / Investigator Staci Butler aka Tiger
Lilly is holding up. That is the Daily Bugle and what’s on the headlines? Hmmm. HPI Paranormal vs. Dracula in
New York! Yep! I remember that case, it was so long ago. But, let’s talk about some real or not so real

I got a call not too long ago from Don Lonque. Don claims he is an aquatic vampire. Don makes claim he
comes from a planet near Alpha Centauri. His race of people are called the Merla Karnik. He says that 7 scout
scientists (including himself) went through a Stargate and somehow found themselves on our planet. Don
says that his planet is completely engulfed in water and when they came to Earth, they had to live in the
ocean. On Don’s home planet, the Merla Karnik have a life span of 300 years and feed off the green blood of
a certain fish called the togge neckla that lives on their watery world. Out of the 7 scouts, only 3 scouts
remain. They have a lifespan of 30 years here on Earth. The only blood that comes close to the fish blood
they used to feed on is human blood. The Merla Karnik here on Earth, only need to feed off human blood
every 10 years and they target drowning victims. The rest of the time, they feed off fish, their main course. By
feeding off blood gives them the ability to sustain their life force. Don made claim that he was communicating
telepathically through my cell phone. Don says the 3 remaining Merla Karnik are stranded here on Earth and
they will soon die and need help.

Don, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you will eventually arrive to your home planet, so you can live a
long fulfilling life feeding off the togge neckla. I am not sure how I can assist you. But, stick around as I talk
about some more Earthly type of vampires.

Have you ever heard of the Lobishomen of Brazil? They are described as small, stumpy hunched back
monkey like beings with a yellow face, bloodless lips, black teeth, bushy beard and plush covered feet. When
they attack females, the female victims become nymphomaniacs. When the Lobishomen of Brazil get drunk on
blood, humans can catch them easily. The humans that do catch them will crucify them to a tree and let them
die a slow death.

Then there are the Dhampir. It is the gypsy belief that when there is a sexual liaison with a vampire male and a
mortal woman, the mortal woman will give birth to a Dhampir. The Dhampir will grow up to become an agile
vampire killer, because they can detect where a vampire is and kill the vampire.

The best techniques to kill a vampire is either by: fire, decapitation, wooden stake through the heart, silver
bullet through the heart or direct sunlight. I only wonder how you can kill a Merla Karnik?

Let’s get back to the Earthly vampires. I love Malaysian vampires like the Langsuyar, also known as
Pontianak, they look like a banshee flying demon, but some Langsuyar are described as beautiful elegant
women with green robes, long fingernails and ankle length black hair. They have the ability to fly. They say
that a woman that dies in child birth is a good candidate to become a Langsuyar.

The Slavs of Eastern and Central Europe went through a panic stricken vampire outbreak in the late 17th
centuries and early 18th centuries. They were so panic stricken that many graves were desecrated and

I hope nothing like that happens around here, there has got to be a logical explanation for all this vampirism.
German vampires like the Nachtzehrer (meaning Night Watcher) and the Blautsauger (meaning bloodsucker)
in Southern Germany were a big scare for the German people. Victims that died accidently or by suicide were
a good candidate to become one of these type of vampires.

I wonder if there are any good vampires? Margaret L. Carter, a scholar of vampire literature says yes! She
says there are vampires that act morally when dealing with mortals and rather obtain their blood without killing
or raping mortals. They acquire their blood from animals, blood banks or willing human donors.

Perhaps these good vampires will side with mortals and fight against aggressive vampirism. Shannon ‘Ms.
Macabre’ McCabe – Owner of HPI – is a big fan of True Blood, Twilight, Vampire Diaries because most of the
vampires on these shows are ‘hot’, they have hard bodies and are very sensual when they are out on the
hunt for mortals. What ever happened to the ugly vampires like Nosferatu? If all vampires looked like
Nosferatu, perhaps the vampire myth wouldn’t be so popular.

Now to the most famous vampire of all. Dracula. Vlad Tepes ruled only 6 years and he is a never dying living
legend. He worked hard earning the title of Tepes or the Impaler. Imagine Vlad feasting heartedly while the
Turks were impaled on stakes all around him. Vlad was a tricky vampire. On Easter of 1459, Vlad invited many
boyars (feudal land owners) to a big Easter feast. While the boyars were eating and drinking, Vlad had his
soldiers surround the boyars and their families. The elders were killed instantly and the young boyars were
used as slaves and marched to Curtea de Arges to build Vlad’s mountain castle. That Vlad you have to admit
was ingenious!

Well, I think I am done talking about vampires for now and I bid you all a good night and remember never to
invite a vampire into your home. If you do, make sure to cover your neck!

Paul Dale Roberts, HPI General Manager
aka The Demon Warrior
Shannon McCabe's HPI (Haunted and Paranormal Investigations International)
Email: pauld5606@comcast.net
Cellular Paranormal Hotline: 916 203 7503
If you have a possible investigation call: 1-888-709-4HPI